To Suffer Most Of All
by AuthorWriter
Summary: A take on a possible ‘Hellboy 3’ ending, imagined into creation by “Liz”’s choice in the movie and Selma Blair’s commentary about how that moment could set up the finale for a lot of pain and hurt. ‘Hellboy 2’ rocks – go see it and buy the DVD!


Disclaimer: All characters are property of Mike Mignola, in relations with Dark Horse comics, and leased to Guillermo Del Toro (who did them beautifully in the movies I have to say: #3 Guillermo, PLEASE!!!!); I own nothing but the idea behind this story. However, if he'd like to use the rough idea of what "Liz" may have to do if "Red" doesn't pull off another change himself like he did it the first movie, Guillermo is more than welcome to it.

Author's Notes: This is my time trying a 'Hellboy' fan fiction and I hope I did justice to the character of "Liz" for all of her fellow fans out there and for Selma Blair and all her hard work in helping to bring "Liz" to life – couldn't have asked for better; she and Ron Perlman make this franchise. Also, while I am expecting flames from at least some of the people, I'd like to ask nicely from the rest…nothing too evil please.

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They say we always hurt the ones we love the most…that only fools make deals for love…I guess you could say I'm a fool who made a deal for love once and now everyone I ever cared about is suffering for it…include my own children. Some would have called it being selfish and they're probably right, but I call it being human…sacrificing a world that doesn't even care about you and only wants to use you or study you for a man who loves you, has died for you and everyone else and in return only ever asked to be treated equally…I don't think that's being selfish at all. Besides, I knew what I was getting into – _**"And you most of all will suffer"**,_ not exactly words one tends to forget, but I tried believe me I tried; it's only now I understand what those words really meant: that by living with the choice I made I'll suffer for eternity, but to be honest, I'd do it again.

I can't take back the decision I made; I can only say I'm sorry…to my children whom I've doomed to be looked upon as a possible second coming of all that's happening now and who will truly never get to know their father the way I did, to one of my best friends Abraham Sapien for taking away his best friend, to the late Professor Broom for letting him down by selling out all he worked for so I could have a few moments, to every innocent person out there who's died so far because of what I've done, and most of all to Red for taking away his choice in the matter.

"_Are you sure about this Agent Sherman?" _– I can still hear Manning asking me_, "Agent Broom, Sir…it's still very much Agent Broom." _I was quick to correct as I looked to him sadly, _"And 'no', but we have no choice anymore." _and we didn't…I'd seen to that when I made the deal; I had betrayed the man I loved once already, what was once more; at least this way I knew he wouldn't be alone when it happend.

"_Is she going to be able to pull this off?"_ Thomas Manning asked as he watched the young defeated woman go_, "Liz, loves Red, he's the father of her children…"_ Abe began_, "So that's a 'No' then?"_ Manning was quick to jump in and judge_; "She wants what's best for him and he'd want us to stop this however we can…Liz knows that, she'll do what's right." –_ Abe…so sweet, he always was a stand up guy, but he was wrong. It was far to late to do the right thing now, that should have been done when the Angel of Death asked me to make my choice, Red should have been awake to make it for himself – that would have been the fair and right thing to have done; no, that time had passed, the only thing left to do now was what had to be done unfortunately – and I would suffer most of all.

I'll never understand why he thought a big show of smoke and fire would scare me of all people, I radiated the elements, they made me who I was…there was never any reason to fear them just what I could do with them. His eyes glowed with fire and smoke rose off his body as he stared down at me, the crown of fire burning brightly and his horns looming large; "I'm not afraid of you." I tell him and I'm not, I'm disgusted…by the fact that he looks like Red - that he'll leave a lasting impression on those who might survive as to what he was all about, but of course nothing could have been farther from the truth. They may have looked alike and shared the same body, but there was no denying that if you bothered to look closely enough that the one they called Anung un Rama, and were blaming for this whole mess, was really nothing like my Red; Anung un Rama was exactly what he was – the beast of the apocalypse, an evil usher-er of death, fire and brimstone and pretty much all that was bad…the doorman to Hell one might say while Red, my sweet Red, he was a great man – a loving father, a terrific husband even though he frustrated me so much at times I always knew his heart was in the right place and that he would always love me no matter what. He'd saved me time and time again, accepted me for who and what I was all while trying to help me accept myself…I owe him for everything, it's a debt I could never truly repay in full; most just saw him as a demon from Hell with bright red skin and shaved back horns, but he was so much more, more than anyone could imagine - at his core, Red was more a man that the majority of humans I knew and I loved him for it. There is no way anyone who **really** saw him would be able to confuse him with this demon standing before me and I refuse to accept any statements or theories that try and prove otherwise.

"_Soon Eden will come." _I heard him say, _"A new world for those who deserve to rule in it." _he said;_ "And for the rest of us?" _I dared to ask only to be met with the answer I knew all along – _"Death." _which was accented once more by hot, white smoke exiting his mouth. I told him I see and asked if there was a chance I could still save Red from it, he just took a deep breath – looked up towards the sky and exhaled more bits of fire as he repeated the word 'death'…and that's when I knew: I had already killed Red. My only peace now would come in killing Anung un Rama and hopefully setting free Red's spirit…and so I did, using a smaller version of the same weapon Prince Nuada used to nearly kill him years ago, I pushed the blade into the skin of the demon and watched as he realized he'd been murdered, the crown of fire slowly burning out in the style of some big symbolic meaning, before finally scumming to the magic that was deep inside his heart by this time and falling to the earth that he'd recently tried to destroy; _"I'm sorry, Red. I love you." _I said even though it was a case very much of – too little too late. I had taken the breath from the body of the one who once used that same breath to breathe life back into me.

I did it. I did it. I repeat it only because I now understand and realize it's part of my new destiny – to suffer most of all; I killed my husband…I took my children's father away from them, I've doomed them to be enemies in the eyes of the worlds we tried decades to protect…I took a future as being a father away from Red, he'll never get to experience the joys with them that Professor Broom did with him. I once again helped to murder hundreds of people, I took away the best chance the B.P.R.D had at a defense from those who'd wish to do evil from either side, I took away Abe's first real friend…the man who tried to teach him about everything he thought he knew which usually ended up getting them into some trouble but I never heard Abe complain to much because he also knew Red's heart was in the right place. I'm responsible for that and so much more to come I'm sure, I guess one could say I finally earned my title of 'Living Weapon Of Mass Destruction', but I'd do it all again; I'd do it again because while this is the end result I still feel I did what was right in my heart by letting him live…by giving him the chance to see our children be born and to experience what little happiness people like us have been given in this world. It may seem cruel and selfish considering what I took from him now, but I'd do it again because I loved him and needed him desperately and I'm just selfish enough to admit that fact.

So I'm doomed too suffer most of all? That's okay, I'll deal with it.


End file.
